LOST Finale Anniversary: Casting the Yankees on the Island

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It’s hard to believe that it’s been a full year since the final episode of LOST aired. With that final, iconic shot of Jack Shepherd’s eye closing, six action packed, thought provoking, theory inducing seasons of the best show to ever grace the airwaves closed with it. Despite the show’s theme of “moving on” and “letting go”, it has stuck with me and I find myself thinking about it just as much now as when we were getting treated to the weekly craziness on that mysterious island.

Since, unlike Desmond, we unfortunately can’t send our minds back to a time when we still didn’t know how Locke got in the wheelchair or whether or not Henry Gale was an Other, we’ll just have to settle for getting our LOST fix by re-watching the Blu Ray set for the 20th time. Thanks to the series’ open ended conclusion and attention to detail throughout the course of the program, you can always find something you missed the first dozen or so times and you’ll always have a new crazy theory about what ol’ Smokey is really up to.

Of course, as exciting as the island mysteries were and as many discussions around the water cooler that the game-changing cliff-hangers created, LOST ended the way it started: as the story of some of the most memorable and beloved characters the medium has ever known. Given that this blog is about the Yankees and not about LOST (although, as my wife can and will attest to, I can babble on and on about the Numbers and DHARMA and Jack’s beard for hours on end), I figured the best way to pay tribute to the show I love is by re-casting it with players from the team I love, after all, all six of Hurley’s famous numbers have been retired by the Yankees. That’s right. It’s time to unveil which of the Bombers would take the place of which of the Losties should the boys in pinstripes end up on a crazy island in the South Pacific:

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Derek Jeter as Jack Shepherd- This one’s sort of an obvious choice. The Captain has always been there to lead his team through thick and thin over the years, although with far less man-crying than his on-island counterpart. His longer than reasonable contract that he signed in the off-season would lead you to believe that Derek is going to have a difficult time letting go and knowing when to move on. Thankfully, Jeter has yet to go through that dismal bearded faze that Jack suffered through, although his performance over the last two seasons has Yankee fans screaming, “We have to go baaaaaack!!!” (to 2009).

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Alex “A-Rod” Rodriguez as James “Sawyer” Ford- A-Rod has grown on Yankee fans over the years just like Sawyer has grown on LOST fans. Alex started his time in the Bronx catching a lot of heat for his post-season struggles, his rivalry with Jeter, and his aloof personality. As early as the first day on the island, Sawyer was pretty much universally hated amongst the castaways due to his antagonistic, selfish nature. The slick con-man was always a thorn in Jack’s side from the get go. Of course, a post-season home run binge in 2009 or jumping from a helicopter works like a charm as far as getting on everyone’s good side is concerned.

(image courtesy of lost.wikia.com)

Jorge Posada as Danielle Rousseau- After 16 years on the island, these two have, without a doubt, seen better days. Granted, in Jorge’s case, he just can’t hit anymore and had his catcher’s mitt taken away. That’s a lot better than Rousseau’s dilemma of going completely insane and having her daughter taken away, but it’s still not exactly ideal. We can only hope that Jorge can go out with a little more dignity than Rousseau and Girardi wont take on the roll of Keamy by putting the 5-time world champion out to pasture.

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Mariano Rivera as John Locke– As Charlie said back in season one, “If there’s one person on this island I would put my absolute faith in to save us all it would be John Locke.” I don’t think there’s any doubt the baseball world feels the same way about the Great Mariano. The most notable similarity between Rivera and Locke are that they’re both my favorite in their respective world. I have the same confidence when Mariano takes the mound as I did whenever Locke did anything in season one (the 2001 World Series is pretty much Mo’s version of letting the timer in the hatch run out) and I just can’t help but rooting for them. Thankfully Rivera’s made way fewer missteps along the way. It’s also possible that the Smoke Monster has taken the form of Mariano, since I’m pretty sure the guy can’t possibly be human.

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Brett Gardner as Boone Carlyle– According to Locke, Boone was a sacrifice the island demanded. According to Girardi, Gardner’s at-bats are a sacrifice that bunting demanded. Both are such senseless losses, too. Didn’t Boone know that plane was unstable? Couldn’t Locke have told Jack what really happened? Doesn’t Girardi know that bunting doesn’t actually increase your chances of scoring? Can’t he just let a guy with a .355 career OBP swing away instead of giving away free outs? His at-bats didn’t die. They were murdered.

(image courtesy of lost.wikia.com)

Boone Logan as Dr. Leslie Arzt– Shortly after anytime Boone enters a game, you know he’s going to go all Arzt on us and just blow up. His control is about as stable as the dynamite that blew the disgruntled science teacher to kingdom come. Unfortunately, it’s a lot less funny when Logan combusts on the mound than when Arzt does near the Black Rock.

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Bartolo Colon as “Hurley” Reyes– Bartolo and the lovable Hurley have a lot in common, and it’s not just their comparable waistlines. Originally, both of them were brought in for some comic relief (admit it, you thought the Colon signing was pretty much a joke, too). Over time, they’ve both grown to be come integral parts of their team. Hurley, while at first mostly a vehicle for Sawyer’s awesome nicknames, eventually not only became a candidate, but actually took over as protector of the island! Colon has become something of a savior in his own right as his unbelievable performance for a weakened rotation.

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Rafael Soriano as Nikki and Paulo- Just one big mistake right from the get go. Soriano has not fit in during a short stay marked by poor performance. After being bit by the (injury) bug, he’s been buried alive on the DL.

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Joba Chamberlain as Walt Lloyd- After an extremely promising first season that had fans excited and salivating at possibilities for their seemingly bright futures, both Joba and Walt disappeared from the face of the Earth. A Fireballing pitcher with ace potential and a little kid with psychic powers really managed to capture everyone’s imaginations; neither one delivered on the hype of their youth, leaving the fans to wonder what could have been. On many nights, I feel like Michael, staring into my television and shouting, “Jooobbbaaa!!!!”

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Curtis Granderson as Desmond Hume– For the first few months that Granderson donned the pinstripes, it seemed like he may as well have been down in the hatch, pushing the button every 108 minutes, but in mid-August that hatch was demolished and Curtis developed some serious superpowers. He’s managed to hit an astronomical 30 home runs in the Yankees’ past 97 games. While Desmond was impervious to electromagnetism, Granderson is now impervious to left-handed pitching. 8 of his 16 home runs have come against southpaws after only 6 the previous two years. I’m also pretty sure some of those shots have managed to travel through time and made the poor pitchers’ noses bleed. Pour that man a MacCutcheon!

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Nick Swisher as Mr. Eko- You can’t help but love Nick Swisher and you can’t help but love Mr. Eko (although Swish was never a murderous drug dealer, so it’s even easier to like him). Swisher’s enthusiasm and love for life are infectious and inspiring. He had the New York fans hooked right from the start. Eko was the one castaway from the tail section that everyone latched onto right away and who instantly became a fan favorite. And while Eko was well known for his ability to bash some Others with his Jesus stick, Swish has a lot of pop in his bat as well. Thankfully, there are no Smoke Monsters around to pre-maturely end Nick’s stay in the Bronx.

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AJ Burnett as Ben Linus– No matter how many lies Ben told throughout the years, we always believed him no matter what he said. He really means it this time! You always expect him to come around and be the hero you thought he could be. AJ Burnett isn’t all that dissimilar (if we ignore the whole genocidal maniac aspect of Ben, obviously). For years, he’s teased us with his phenomenal natural talent. No matter how inconsistent he always was, we always thought, “this is the year he’s finally going to put it all together and become that ace we know he can be.” But it never happens. AJ is AJ just like Ben is Ben. In the early goings of 2011, Burnett has gotten our hopes up yet again thanks to his improved control and consistent, solid starts. Hopefully this season is Burnett’s version of when Ben pushed Hurley out of the way of that falling tree and finally redeemed himself after hitting rock bottom the year before.

Hopefully the Bombers will be able to quell any troubles thrown their way by the Others in the American League and Cashman (who obviously has the role of Jacob) will be able to pick up some additional candidates along the way to protect the island. We’re probably never going to be treated to another show like LOST, but at least we’ve still got our Yankees. This has been a lot of fun and I look forward to hearing what other players You All Everybody would like to cast as other characters! After all, if we can’t talk about the Yankees together, we’re gonna die alone.